MOST RECENT EMPIRICAL RESEARCH

Ive done several things to try to understand Boston. For a New Yorker, Boston is incomprehensible. But I am an intelligent woman, so I attempt to learn as much as I can. Ive worked for the Massachusetts State Senate, read historical maps, went to two Patriots parades, read Michael O'Donald's book on Southie, walked the streets, read and saw Mystic River, went to hear TedLandsmark speak, dated Native Bostonians, etc. I buy only Garelick Farms orange juice and Polar flavored seltzer and ginger ale are my favorite. Im currently reading a book called, BostonAgainstBusing which is supposed to be a academic study, but its painfully full of editorialising. However, it has enough of recounting of public records and court transcripts to be useful. After weeding through the author's pro-white rhetoric, I actually understand the whole Boston busing debacle situation much better.

More recently (today) I went way out on a limb and did more empirical research to try and understand Boston culture. It was my most daring and dangerous attempt so far (even worse than dating my ex the BrokenToothBouncer). Yes people, I tried Moxie.

Moxie

OH MY GAWD! That is the nastiest sh*t I have ever tasted. And believe me when I tell you, Ive put some nasty stuff in my mouth over the years. It tastes like cough medicine, Malta and feet! It was first created locally as a medicine back in the 1800s, called "Moxie Nerve Food" and contains Gentian Root. I think the medical part is a deterrent. You make sure you stay well, so you wont have to drink that stuff!

I first heard about Moxie the soda when I was on line at the Shaws in Somerville. I had my Polar and the guy ahead of me had a one-liter bottle of a local soda, brown colored soda in an orange label. I like buying local, so I asked the guy,

"Scuse me. What flavor is that?"
((sheepishly)) "Well, its kinda a strange flavor. Its an old time soda, before your time."
"Oh. ((confused)) so, its a cola? Or a root beer, like Dr. Pepper?"
"No, not really. It dont really taste too good, but I like it. I grew up with it."
"Oh." ((WTF?!?!?))

So last time I went grocery shopping, I put the Moxie in the cart with my Polar. Today, I tried a couple sips of Moxie with my lunch. BLECH! I do feel more awake, like my heart is racing... like I drank a Red Bull. According to Wikipedia, Moxie was said to cure ailments ranging from softening of the brain to “loss of manhood.” Well this stuff will definitely put hair on your chest! I think I feel my sinuses clearing. Why would anybody willingly drink that stuff? I mean, I grew up eating Spam and fried bologna, but that sh*t was nasty. So when I got old enough to read the side of the Spam can, I stopped eating it. Now that Im grown and buy my own groceries, I would never spend my money on Spam, bologna, liver, veal, lima beans, red Kool-Aid (what flavor is "Red?") etc... "It dont really taste too good, but I like it. I grew up with it." Yeah, must be some of that Boston reasoning.

Well, I give up. Uncle. Im not going to try to understand Boston anymore. Im just gonna focus on making money and trying to get outta here, before I kill my silly self!

PEACE AND BLESSINGS